Welcome to The Invisible Vision Project’s Blog.
In today’s blog, I would like to have a conversation with all of you, on reasons why I no longer seek cures for my Vision Loss.
To begin, I just want to point out that the reason why I no longer seek cures for my Vision Loss is not as simple as to say that I have given up on science and on the medical professionals that are constantly working hard in finding cures for Blindness, or for any other illnesses in the medical field. My reason, is a little more complicated, and in order to tell this story, I have another story behind it that kind of ties it in altogether.
The story goes back to the Winter of 2002, I had a medical/surgical procedure, attempt to correct a problem I have with my eyes and it’s called Strabismus, what Strabismus means in simple term, some of you may have heard, “crossed-eyes.” and that is what it is. I had to have it done because I was told by my eye doctor as well as by my parents that even though Strabismus is not a serious eye condition nor difficult to treat, but it does affect the ‘cosmetic’ of the eyes (Clarification: someone with Strabismus eyes their eyes turn either inwards, outwards, upwards or downwards, it just doesn’t seem to ‘line-up’ nice and straight) and that it’s better and easier to have it corrected at a younger age, as I was told, I agreed to have it done. Back then, I thought why not, as girls, we all want to look pretty don’t we. But, what I didn’t expect was the underlying ‘challenge’ of having this procedure done, especially I had it done twice when the first attempt was unsuccessful. After the procedure, I became very ill, physically (somehow I caught a fever and was hospitalized for a long time because of it) and mentally, I think it had traumatized me as I was not mentally prepared even for such a supposedly simple procedure. And, if you want to hear the result, and I will tell you, that I don’t think it did any help to correct Strabismus that I had, as I still have it.
So, this is a conclusion I came down to: probably most of us already know this, when we take a medication for an illness we have, we’re warned of its side-effects, and when we have a medical/surgical procedure, we’re also warned of its success-rate. And, sometimes one medication or medical procedure may work for one person but may not work for another. I have known so many people with Strabismus and had their surgery done and was cured, but it’s just unfortunate that it didn’t work on me. And I can say this now, that is OK.
However, what is not OK for me is that I go through another experience like the one that I just described, again. I think it is safe for me to say, I like the way I am right now, coping and living my life as a Legally Blind young adult, it’s challenging, but not impossible. It is true that my vision may change, slowly and gradually, but I choose to live with it, whether it remains the way it is or it deteriorates, I will just live with it, day by day. And I know that it may sound crazy that if in the near future when there is going to be a cure for Blindness and yet I’m here saying that I don’t want it. The reason is more that I don’t want to take another risk, by having the chances of going through getting sick physically and getting overwhelmed emotionally. Now, it is even safer for me to say that I have no fear to live with my Blindness and that I feel more comfortable and more like myself that I live like this than to live fully sighted, because then, I’d need to re-learn life again, and I don’t think I’d want to do that.
So, this concludes my reasons why I no longer seek cures for my Vision Loss. I hope you enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for reading to the end.
By: The Invisible Vision Project