Welcome to The Invisible Vision Project’s Blog.
In today’s blog, I hope to bring some positivity and motivation to you, my dear readers! Today’s blog is about fighting a battle in life. This battle, is completely different from the battle fought in war, nor is it a physical fight between people in conflict. This battle, is the difficult challenges and struggles that one faces in life. Believe it or not, everyone is fighting a battle, regardless of if the person has a disability, or is chronically ill, or not. EVERYONE in this world has a battle of their own that they must fight, this is unavoidable, and undeniable, it is the reality of life: no one has a “straight sailing” in life. The fight, it often began as soon as the moment one is born. And, it is a continuous journey, for as long as our life last.
Here, in this blog, I want to share with you the life battles that I’ve fought and is still fighting throughout my life-time so far. Also, I want to say, this is not a blog ranting about my struggles, that is NOT the purpose of this blog, at all. Now, keep that in mind, let’s begin my life journey!
My life battle began the day when I was born, a pre-mature baby. I was born with health issues. I was a lot smaller and fragile, I also grew a lot slower than average healthy baby. At around age 4, my parents also discovered that I looked at things very closely, and I would fell down and get myself hurt quite often. Then, it was quite a shock for them to found out from the doctors that I’m severely near-sighted, and I also have other eye conditions.
In my childhood, I was sick a lot. I had a very poor immune system; so, whenever it’s the flu season, I would almost always catch it. What’s worse than that was, even for a common flu, it would always turn into something more serious, like a fever or even pneumonia.
In my teenage years, I was a little healthier physically. I guess that my immune system had finally decided to stay stronger and not getting defeated each time when bacteria or virus comes around. But, it was around this time I developed mental health issues. I had so much trouble regulating my emotions, especially with anger and sadness. I was just not happy with my life, because of some negative and discouraging people in my life. Then, I became very negative, I had extremely low self-esteem and had even conducted numerous acts of self-harming (my teenage life was the most gloomiest time of my life, but, I have no intention to hide or deny that part of my life history). What’s more, most people that knew me during that time didn’t know I was unhappy, I seldom complained to anyone about my problems, because I kept most of it all to myself.
I moved away from home at age 20 to go to university (I attended school late). At that time, I continued on fighting with the ‘mental demons’ inside me. It was not until a little later in life that I decided it was time to step up and seek for help. Also, it was around this time, I had discovered my eye sight was declining, that made life just a little more difficult. Then, as some of you may already know, in the summer of 2015, which was the year that I accepted my vision loss and decided to live my life as a visually impaired person. But, in that summer, I also made another acceptance, in which I have not yet to reveal, that was an acceptance of my mental health diagnosis. Everything happened so fast during that awfully difficult summer.
In addition, despite the vision loss and mental health acceptance, it was also around that time, maybe a little earlier, beginning in my early 20s and up until now, I was again fighting a battle with my health. At first, I even thought it might just be because of my mental health especially anxiety that might be acting up to affect my physical health. However, it seemed that only the winter months would be the most unbearable. At times like these, I really thought I was going to lose my life (I say this not because I take life less seriously, but because I was really In such a difficult situation).
To conclude, this is the life battles that I had fought and is still fighting. The fight does not stop, for as long as I live. Even though I’m keeping my vision loss and my mental health in check, and I’m also managing the physical health aspect in the best ability that I can, but I need to learn and to know my limits. What I know for sure is that, the road of my past may not have been an easy one, but the road ahead could be a lot more difficult. Even so, I will not give up, and I will NEVER give up. I will do my best to overcome the challenges I face in life. I’m thankful to have these difficulties, because they made me re-think about life in a much more serious and positive manner.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this little taste of positive vibe. And, thank you for reading to the End!
By: The Invisible Vision Project