Welcome to The Invisible Vision Project’s Blog.
Today(Jan. 20) is an important and special day, at least for me, because, it is my birthday! Often time, when we were younger, we’d like to have a huge party on our birthdays with friends and family, after all, birthdays are once a year, and you only live and celebrate that age, that birthday, once in a lifetime, so it is a big deal for all of us. But, as we get older, we may not throw a big party or celebration for every year, maybe every few years, or on years with a lucky number (this is a big deal in certain cultures).
But anyways, this blog isn’t about birthdays or even about my birthday. But, I think, this is a good time to blog about aging, growing up and being an adult, and how I feel about it. Personally, I don’t think my age (the number itself) affected the way how I look at my age, I mean, I’m not THAT old, but certainly, I’m not that young either, maybe somewhere in between…and besides, if you know me in person or have seen me in photos, I’m almost certain that you’ll say I don’t look my age! But, somehow, what I can also say about myself (with regards to aging) is that, I did find myself getting older than before, and this is especially true, because of my health and my disability. The reason for this may be that, certainly, it is true that aging is natural for all living beings, we humans included; but, for those with health issues and or disability (or both), we may find the process of aging affect us more than healthy and able-bodied individual. Then again, this differs from person to person, and I’m only speaking for myself.
However, as it may be true that I do find myself getting ‘old’ because of the challenges I face become greater as I get older; what I find so interesting also is that, the way I act, behave, and even present myself to and in front of others is getting ‘younger’ each year, so I am, probably, a child at heart. When I was younger, I remembered that I’ve been told sometimes and mostly by family members or relatives that I don’t act my age. But, both the people and myself thought I would eventually grow out of it. The truth is, I didn’t and still haven’t grow out of it, and because of that, there had been times in my life when I’ve been negatively criticized for it, and on top of that, people had even used it to take advantage of me, for what they thought of my behaviour as childish and I need to grow up. So, because of it, I tried so hard to change me, in order to meet their expectations; that itself was not a pleasant experience, because by changing me, I was no longer myself anymore. Then later, when I had a better friend and social circle that accept me for who I am, I no longer feel the need to pretend who I’m not. That’s when I came to realize, I wasn’t the problem, and I did nothing wrong other than just being me, and in life, there will always be people who love you for who you are, and, there will also be people who will only love you if you become the way they want you to be.
I think, there is really nothing wrong about being a child at heart. We are only human, and we could only do so much. Since we couldn’t stop aging, getting older with age, if some of us choose to stay young by being a child at heart, then be it! And besides, one thing I’ve also learned through all of this, is the importance of finding someone like us. It makes us feel so much better if we find people that we could relate to (even though I advocate on this a lot through my work as a disability activist), but I think life itself is the same. I find it so easy to speak to and be with those who we can share commonality with. So, even though I’m getting older, and I’m a fully grown adult, I can still be a child at heart, for as long as I wish to be.
So, this concludes today’s blog. I hope this blog made sense! And, as always, thank you for reading!
By: The Invisible Vision Project