The Pandemic and My Trust Issues

Greetings readers,

Welcome back to the blog!

Today marks two years of living with the COVID-19 pandemic. Two very challenging years for a lot of people, especially those less privileged and more vulnerable of our society. I touched on many things throughout this pandemic, both the good and the bad. But, there’s something I haven’t yet mentioned, and that is: the pandemic and my trust issues, I’ll be addressing this in today blog.

I have trust issues, I’m not afraid or ashamed to say so now (finally!). I trust people easily, but at the same time, I don’t trust, at all. Usually, there’s a balance, but sometimes, that balance is very hard to strike. Needless to say, this pandemic has been a constant battle to test my trust issues.

I find that it is easier to trust someone when they also have trust in you. So, trust is a two way street. And, it’s also easier to trust someone you’ve known and have been together for some time, like close friends and families. This is not to say, that you (or I) trust friends and family 100% all the time. Nothing is 100%. But I trust the people I know and have been together with for some time more than I put trust in random strangers.

Throughout this pandemic, I feel like I’ve been practicing caution with my trust in people. That includes, both the people I know well enough, as well as, and especially with, strangers. I trust (and hope) that the people I interact with, whether it’s for essential reasons, like going to the hospital for appointments. Or, for leisure activities, like hanging out with family and friends. I put (some of) this trust in them that they’re doing their best to keep me safe. At the same time, I feel I have a strong sense of responsibility to also, do the very best, to keep myself (and others) safe.

For the most part, and thankfully, most of my family and friends respect my concerns with regards to COVID, and try their best to keep me safe and comfortable, without thinking of COVID precautions as a “burden” or as unnecessary. But undoubtedly, there are people in my life, that see the way I take COVID precautions as an over exaggeration. I don’t and I haven’t seen these people in person yet, so I don’t worry about what they think. Over the last two years, I’ve been to more essential outings more than I’ve spent time with my family and friends.

As I write this blog, it also reminded me of something I said not long ago, which kind of showed I really have trust issues. At one point, I said to just a few friends that, “if someone passed on or spread COVID to me, even unintentionally, I don’t know if I can forgive that person.” As harsh (and some may even argue divisive) as this thought may be, I think, what I really intended to say was, “Please do everything to protect me. I’m scared. Catching the virus could be really dangerous for me. I really can’t afford it. Please be extra extra, EXTRA careful.”

As we are slowly (and hopefully) coming out of the pandemic, I hope more people will understand, as society rushes back to “normal” that, there’re still the disabled, the chronically ill, the elderly, and the people with compromised immune system out there, these people are still very scared, very worried and still need to be extra vigilant, and to be protected. And, it is never OK to simply say, “let the vulnerable stay isolated, and let the world move on.” Because it just doesn’t work that way. Life doesn’t work like that. We all have a collective responsibility, as decent human beings. Please continue to protect one another, and be there for each other.

I know that the pandemic will eventually come to an end one day. And hopefully, that day comes sooner than later. But, I know for sure, that I can’t simply “switch” my life back to before the pandemic. And I think, it’ll definitely take a long while for me to have less trust issues. I guess, only time will tell.

By: The Invisible Vision Project

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